“Holiday Beverage Jamboree” for ROOKIE


Whenever there’s a commercial on TV for some, like, dulce de leche chocolate low-calorie yogurt-based personal-sized dessert, and the narrator lady is like, ‘SooOOoOo indulgent, inDDUUULLLGE your senses, guilt tastes so gooooOOOd,’ I’m like, ‘Lady, you do NOT know who you’re talking to.’ Because if a mini-cup of sugar-free garbage counts as the Ultimate Indulgence, you have not met me, le Professionale Hédoniste. Welcome to my lair (the kitchen), where I have cracked the code to literally the most self-indulgent beverage I can think of: black coffee with ice cream melting it. Caffeine and sugar unite to bring me to my highest self, which is my hyper self. Coffee and ice cream are what pulse through my veins (blood is for normies), so I really take this beverage experiment to heart.”


Recipes, illustrations, and holiday cheer to follow by clicking right here!

“Be Your Own Expert” for ROOKIE

Sometimes, when I’ve handed authority over my life to other people, I’ve caught myself rationalizing it by thinking, ‘Well, I’m not the Relationships Person anyway,’ or, ‘I’m not, like, a Body Expert here.’ That’s funny, because, WHAT? It’s like saying, ‘You tell me when to breathe—I’m not the Oxygen Guy.’ How could I demote myself to novice status for something as completely individual and fundamental as, like, having a body and feelings? All humans are BODY AND FEELINGS PEOPLE.”

Read the whole thing here.

“When a Crush Is Enough” for ROOKIE

“It gets easier […] after you’ve clocked some years pining for many a human (a really boring Older Than Thou statement, I know, but hear me out). You realize that, Hey—I’m going to have a lot of these feelings in my lifetime. Some are more light and fluffy, some are torturous, but they all come and go, thank goodness. Because in the end, isn’t it a special kind of fun to consider love in a million different places, with a million goofy faces? Crush feelings are always there for the taking, even if they last only five seconds. It might be all in your head and heart, but those are important places, and about as real as it gets.”


Read more here.

BURGERLAND in The Pitchfork Review

My essay on “the OC saga of Burger Records” covers the particular explosion of youth culture in suburban Southern California circling around the hive of Burger Records HQ in Fullerton. Includes my top picks for most essential Burger listening, plus visuals by Cali DeWitt & Steele O’Neal.

Pick it up here:

The Pitchfork Review

“Art for Our Sake” for ROOKIE


“In reality, I don’t think art is a trivial thing to devote four years (even a whole life!) to. I’ve spent the past four years practicing and thinking about my craft(s) and learning to grow my critical brain. Not ‘critical’ like your mom when she’s telling you how tragically messy your room is (True Life); I mean the kind of critical that looks at something as minute as the specific typeface a newspaper uses or as massive as the historical, political, and social backdrop to a given art movement, and asks: ‘Why is that?’ The kind of critical that questions everything to gain understanding, then channels that new knowledge into a creative impulse, resulting in work that’s more informed, more directed, more interesting. This kind of critical wants me to do something important with my concern and curiosity about the world, and knows that art, writing, and all manner of culture-making are more than important—they’re crucial.”

I suppose this is my manifesto about art school and creative life, which you can read at ROOKIE.

“After School Snacks: A Taxonomy” for ROOKIE


“The after-school snack is the most important meal of your social life—friends go where the snacks are, after all, leaving memories and crumbs to be ground into the carpets and cushions of our lives. The afternoon snack is the pillar of the adolescent weekday, a tall and steady totem of three o’clock refueling for the wobbling soldiers of sixth-period math.”

My taxonomy of selections from the ever-so-important institution of the After School Snack, over at ROOKIE.